26 January 2016

Single Expenses


I've been thinking. I've been thinking. Is it more expensive being single than in a couple?


Yes! You're more dependent on the life outside your flat, as that's where you interact with other people. Fair enough you can lie home and watch Netflix (and chill with yourself) but how exciting is it when you've already seen all seasons of Project Runway, Project Runway All-Stars, Project Runway Junior, Project Runway Sweden...? Trust me - not very. When I was single and started streaming Masterchef Junior I knew I'd taken it too far.

Think about it; a single girl probably arranges a couple of dates a week via some dating app to pass time (and of course to hopefully find THHHHHEEEEE OOOONNNEEEE). Never any shared taxi rides after a night out or to the airport. Never just paying half the rent or half the ridiculous council tax bill. And what about cooking? To make use of all the food you buy when you buy fresh ingredients you must be bloody efficient with your cooking.

Let's take this as an example; you're single and you want tacos. Like every normal human being wants once a week. You buy lettuce, tomatoes, a cucumber, peppers, a Santa Maria taco kit, minced beef, avocados to make some guac, soured cream and a can of sweet corn. You chop up half of everything and have a lovely meal. You never cook just enough either, always too much.

"Eat the leftovers the next day" you say? 
"Use the veggies for something else that week" you say?

That would be great if not the life of a single girl looks like this;

Monday; new week new beginnings. Monday funday!! I'm gonna go to the supermarket and buy loads of healthy food after work as I started my diet today. I'll buy loads so it lasts the whole week. I'm gonna be good and bring healthy food to work all week. Mmm tacos isn't that unhealthy is it? I'm having tacos tonight, I've been dieting for 8 hours I deserve it. Tuesday; woop I've got a date tonight! Meeting him straight after work for a drink. Having a great time, getting way too drunk and having a Big Mac menu on my way home. Wednesday; Oh my god this is gonna be a long day... The only think that can make this day of pretending not to be hungover in front of my boss is food. (I hit the supermarket to buy Haribo's, diet coke and a greasy ready meal). Thursday; Oh man why did I drink AGAIN last night. Oh that's right - because there's nothing better or more tempting after a day hungover at work than HAVING A DRINK AFTER WORK. Friday; Friyay bitchezz! Meeting the girls for drinks and dinner - wooops it's 6 in the morning and I'm having a Big Mac again. Saturday; ooh Sunday tomorrow, this weekend is going by way too fast. Gotta make the best of this day - I'm treating myself to a breakfast at that cosy cafe down the road. Something healthy though *sucks in belly when checking myself out*. Oh and I have another dinner date tonight! I'm not gonna order a salad though, don't want to be that girl. All girls try not to be that girl. But most of them are actually that girl. Sunday; Why the fuck is my fridge full of mouldy vegetables?


Anyone else craving tacos?